I don't like Sunday evenings.

I don't like Sunday evenings. It is that time of the day when, after a good nap you wake up to find out that you have lost an hour (or two) of the last day of your weekend. Then, you walk around moping and realize that there are still chores that need to be done before Monday morning. You head out to the grocery store and the gloom seems to have spread outside, too. The strip mall is deserted, all the store fronts are shuttered, Closed" signs hang limply on the doors. The curio shops are still and dark. The restaurants seem to be abuzz with activity but that too is subdued as if those out for an early supper are feeling guilty about enjoying this last part of the holiday, this last stretch of calm before the storm of the week takes over.
Then, you come back home and get busy with winding down. You are not tired enough but feel like you have to sleep early, lest your Monday morning turn into a mad rush. So you forget about your earlier misgivings and retire, ending another day, hopefully with a kiss and a smile.

Heavenly Hawaii

We are at Maui, in Kihue to be precise. The lobster is done and the rice is cooking in the microwave. Akka just fell asleep and eeshan is ready to eat. went in for a while in to the gorgeous water and have had a vodka and coke and finished a glass of red wine. The fingers are dancing the salsa all over the keyboard and it is registering very slightly in my cortical centers. there is the gorgeous din of massive waves dashing on the shore right outside my back door mixed with the really discordant din of a stupid cartoon that eesh is watching. i am feeling the beautiful effects of the alcohol and had the awesome idea of this post...so here goes.....

The anatomy of the perfect buzz....

It is said that one of the effects alcohol has on your brain is that it inhibits the inhibitory neurotransmitter acetylcholine which in fact makes you a maverick, someone who doesn't care about dotting the i's and crossing the t's or doing the right things at the right moment. Well, right now i am at that precise moment and thought it would be a wonderful opportunity to jot down this feeling when i am there but not quite...when i am....

buzzed enough to feel the pins and needles creeping up my calves but conscious enough that i can load the whole dishwasher and turn it on,

buzzed enough to not give a damn about dipping the lobster tail (a million calories) into clarified butter (a zillion calories) but conscious enough to write about it

buzzed enough to enjoy the solitude of the afternoon, but conscious enough to realize that my most precious creation is sleeping soundly in the bedroom and that is why i am indoors instead of toasting in the gorgeous sun, like my son and my honey.

buzzed enough to enjoy the warm sensation that is passing through my throat and chest as i sip my red wine but conscious enough to realize that this glass is going to take me over the edge

buzzed enough to want to put down a lot of other things in this post but conscious enough to delete them all.....

Hell,maybe am not buzzed at all. what is the point of getting drunk if you are your most sensible and rational self, your most honest alter ego, when you are drunk. i thought the whole point of being under the influence was the you are under the influence of something other than your own thoughts, your own fears, your own monsters. there is no bigger downer than the knowledge that you are thinking so clearly that you have figured our what you want to do in your life in this haze that is surrounding your rational thought. Things that you only imagined yourself doing when you were "sober" suddenly feel like the most natural things that you were supposed to do. Is that why all artists at one point or the other are said to have made their best creations when they were not "sober"? No, i am not advocating the abdication of responsibility and getting high all your life just so that you can realize what your true potential is...you know what that makes you...a COWARD! someone who cannot do what they really want to do unless they lose control of the world around them.,..nah!!! not for me....i am just enjoying my vacation and this awesome state of not being there when i am really there.......(in fact writing all this has had an incredibly potent cleansing effect on my brain that i think i will need another glass of the really nice Cabernet to take me to my new post)...until then.....cheerio!!!!!